Yo dont text me then not text me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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