Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
