Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
