mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
