I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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