yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
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He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
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Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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