I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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