Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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