i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
