I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
