What did we do last night that was yellow?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
