It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
