If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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