The maid of honor just puked.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
