im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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