at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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