apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish you could order shots online.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
