had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
