it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
