Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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