...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
