She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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