white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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