I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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