Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We left an ass print on the piano.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
