Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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