I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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