The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
