it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
PANTIES FOUND
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