thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
