We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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