are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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