just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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