we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
