Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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