Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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