You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
