I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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