Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
