I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
