My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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