is your mom at the bar?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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