is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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