I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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