I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Enjoy the penises
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
