So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
