Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize