I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
