it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
