Well apparently he's into motor boating.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
