did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
