She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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