To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Two words: nipple clamps
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