so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
