Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
