Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
