anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
