Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
