Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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