i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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