What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
