No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
