So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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