Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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