but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
